I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
