i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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