U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
