worst night to have a conscience
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
