I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
