I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Every concussion has its silver lining
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I believe in your delicious
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
