I think my fart just growled at me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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