We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm too high and old for this...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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