I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
