ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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