I wish I could punch you in the face.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
