That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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