Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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