Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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