i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
