just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
