I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
