idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
