I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
