I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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