I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
