Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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