Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
