I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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