bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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