Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
