addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
