why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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