...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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