Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
