I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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