i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
