Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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