ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
