I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize