I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
