she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
