omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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