Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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