the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
