I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
