I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
