Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
