I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
