did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
