I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
