i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
