Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
