so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
