Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize