Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
