Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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