He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
