I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
oh god was she eating orange peels again
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
