It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
