i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
