i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
