Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
